Historical Setting, 629 C.E. farm in the Vosges Mts.
Regardless of the humanly derived and practiced separations of religions, in the universal nature of God’s love, we both share in grief and we are both a part of the same love of God.
Really, I would much rather argue theology, or bible, or even how a musical tune should be sung. I would much rather take a stand on any issue. But he sees me as a partner in our own terror of emptiness just now. He claims me with his hug for brotherhood and his tears are for our common lot. I really don’t want him to grieve a woman’s death just now because I don’t want to imagine myself in grief also. I just want someone to fix Ana.
I know I don’t get to choose my grief but I push him away from me.
He apologizes, “Sorry, Papa Lazarus, you just seem so much like Brandell, who knows me so well, I guess I just assumed you would understand too.”
“Of course, I understand grief. I guess I was just thinking only of my own sorrow just now and not feeling very welcoming.”
And he argues, “Of course, but my grief is more profound than yours since my mother is actually dead and your wife is yet alive. And besides, Brandell lets me cry with him. And furthermore, your God answered your prayer to bring me comfort immediately by sending you. I know, I know.” he says, holding his hands up as a shield between us. “I will be careful not to overstep my welcome with you.”
Arguing with Vizsla would be so much more gratifying right now than is sharing empathy with his grief. On one hand he is brilliant and clear thinking, but on the other hand he is an emotional rag basket.
“You want to be rid of me too, don’t you Papa Lazarus.” And he leaves.
And now Hannah comes in. “Papa, what did you say to Vizsla?”
I would have added my defense here, except Ana calls Hannah to her bedside, and whispers something to her. Now Hannah leaves with the same huffy attitude as Vizsla.
Ana calls me to her bedside. I could only apologize for becoming so visibly annoyed with Vizsla right in front of her and all that over a prayer? I know there was no excuse for showing off my worst nature to this near stranger.
I can only apologize to Ana now. I wish I was the loving person others expect me to be.
(Continues tomorrow)
Lazarus Ink 
😔❤️
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Grief is an odd things and I’m really glad that these episodes are showing all sides of it. I feel so bad for laz and Ana. Wish there was a way that illness could be cured! Nobody should suffer cancer!
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Sometimes real life is better than fiction. I walked this death path once, then each day, one by one I just didn’t die. So I decided to use the gift years to study the history of how the love law plays out through Church history with a character whose superpower is healing. I was already on the 23rd gift year when I started this blog. But we all have that healing power to some extent. Mortal isn’t just about death. Sometimes knowing mortality is appreciating life.
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