Historical Setting, unknown
By now, whenever now is, I’ve learned a few gestures of wolves, but the fullness of language still eludes me. Humankinds have named them for the tender word they say that accompanies an asking nudge – ulfr, or wolf. [footnote]
As much as I appreciate this gracious, unjudgmental hospitality, I do need to make my way into the human world whatever that may be in this new time.
I speak my good-byes in the human language and the wise elders of this pack understand that this is all about the limitations of my species, so I will have to be leaving. The largest of these beasts stands with his forepaws on my shoulders and reminds me, eye-to-eye, as tall as I think I am, I am still only human. The young male, my teasing little brother makes impatient circles, knowing his own place in this pack is not to be its patriarch. The she-wolves here are his sisters. He will need to leave soon also. He watches me walk away as I do, taller now, on two legs, not crouching.
This is a wintery day– trees etched in foggy silver –winter daylight is brief. I choose to skirt the forests where we hunt and walk toward the north, imagining I will come to the sea so if other people are here, I will likely find them. I’ve brought a skin of water, and a wedge of meat but no fire. The pelts I’ve collected may offer a bit of shelter if I’m still alone at nightfall. I walk on and on, into the early sunset. The lands flatten to meet the sea, and still, I’ve come to no people or houses. I can see many miles of beaches in both directions. Nearly at the end of sight to the north I see the glow of a fire and at moonrise a few threads of smoke in that direction. That is where I will go when I’ve rested.
I find no way to be warm, even though I have extra hides. It is wise not to sleep. I listen to the night sounds, shivering now. A wolf howls in the distance, and I think of that pack, warm and safe together simply because they are family. Maybe I’m homesick. Maybe I’m grieving for the human families where I’ve found belonging. As human being I really had no place with the wolves.
A wolf howls closer, and I think of the one I called ‘little brother’ who shared meat with me. Thank you, God.
[footnote] In this video and many sources on wolves, animosity toward wolves is recent to human history, since only about the 10th century. This video blames the twist of good wolf to “big bad wolf” on Christians. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQTcz3qKdys
(Continues tomorrow)
Lazarus Ink 